reboot & recharge

You know that girl you have been reading about in my last couple posts? She left. I don't know where she went but I do know that she overstayed her visit. I'm happy she is gone because I'm sure she was a real peach to be around...not.

That girl left on Friday when I woke up. The sun was shining & I laced up my shoes for a run. As I hit the pavement, I couldn't help but be giddy for the weekend that was ahead of me. All my closest friends (with the absence of a couple) were gathering at my lake cabin for the weekend. This meant many laughs, many dance parties, & many memories to be made. 

It was hands down one of the best weekends of my life. It is exactly what I needed to feel like "me" again. From dancing on the boat all afternoon to 2 am dives off the diving board (life jackets were present...safety first, people), I was reminded that I am blessed beyond belief to call these girls my friends. 

When I got home on Sunday, the whole Denver move was still all I could think about. When am I going? Where will I live? My mom and I sat down, calendar in front of us, & set dates. Finally, I thought. I have a plan, I know when I'm going, holy-crap-I'm-really-doing-this. My mom and I are driving out there August 7-10th to find me a place to live & sometime during the week of August 20th we will be driving back out again, except this time she will be the only one driving back to Moorhead.

It is scary. Even thinking about it I get a lump in my throat. Can I really do this? You know, go out there by myself. Meet people. Navigate my way around. Live by myself. & all the little things that go along with moving to a completely new place? Like anything else, I know that all those things will take time (like this weekend when we bought a frozen wine kit that said it would take 3-5 hours to freeze but it ended up taking more like 8 hours). This adventure that I am about to embark on is what keeps me going. I look forward to challenging myself, proving to people that you can try new things that seem ludacris to some yet envious to others. 

Here are a couple pictures from the weekend...

 I love you all like a 20-something year old girl loves Pizza Corner & Amish friendship bread at 2 in the morning.

D(o) I(t) M(yself): Burlap Art

What you need:

Burlap

Stencils

Permanent Marker

Frame

Scissors

Patience : )

I will be hanging these in my kitchen...that I don't have...quite yet!

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I helped out at the Cully's Kids Golf Tournament last weekend. I didn't take too many pictures but I came across this one & simply loved it. He is beaming!

make a wish

When your life intertwines with those of the unexpected, you have to believe that there is a reason. A sort of "calling" for those people that you can't really explain how or why they are in your path, but boy are you glad they are. 

That's where Vicky comes in. On paper, we have little in common. While she is married with children, I am clearly the opposite. In reality though, we click. We both share a love for writing & photography, & while we blog about less than spectacular days, we enjoy sharing words that inspire & recharge others. Vicky has taught me to have patience & go forth with any dreams that are stirring around in my head. I look up to her for her sense of comfort, gratitude, positive attitude, & that ever present smile on her face.

Today is her birthday & she has so much to celebrate. She recieved news last week that her brain tumor is shrinking. YEAH! While I know she doesn't always like being the center of attention, sorry girlfriend, today is ALL about YOU!

If you haven't started reading Vicky's blog, I suggest you start!

your wave story

Tricia & Amber, this is your wave story. Your story of how you swept in to my life, turned my day from black to sunshine yellow, & retreated back, leaving me feeling utterly overwhelmed with your thoughtfulness.

Tricia is my go-to girl for always tellling me like it is, even when I don't want to hear it. I fight her words, resist hearing them, but deep down, the girl knows her stuff. She is that friend that everyone needs because she is always there with laughs tucked in her back pocket for when you need them most. Yesterday was a rough day for me, surprise surprise. I unleashed it all on Tricia, sharing all my days struggles.

As I was sitting at my computer, job hunting (emphasis on hunting), a flower delievery car pulled up. Naturally, I got giddy. Who are they for? Are they for me? Who are they from? Why did they send them?

Instant tears. An overwhelming sense of comfort. & a friendship I am continually happy to be in.

Amber's words today reminded me of just how lucky I am to have a friendship that is so new, so real, yet we have never truly been in the same room. My phone buzzed not 1, not 2, but 4 times with a text from her.

"There are people in life who make you feel like you could relate to them long before you ever get to know their heart - and I feel like you are one of those people...."

"I want you to spend your day reminding yourself that you are a contagiously inspiratoinal person in the lives of people you don't even know..."

"...the darkest, most worrisome, anxious, lonliness moments of our lives are what brings us to the brightest, happiest days" 

I pray for you all that you have friendships as great as I do. People in your life that are constantly there to pick you up & remind yourself of what you DO have. If you don't, be that friend for someone. Be the "go-to" listener, advice giver, sip a cup of coffee & talk about the good things in life friend that we all need.

As I woke up this morning feeling tired, groggy, & a "here we go again" attitude, I have decided to kick that all out the door. I am looking forward to going to the movies with Nolan & Colton this afternoon. Giggling with them, seeing their smiles, & feeling that same carefree, summer days outlook with them.

I ask you this: Why not be happy today?

recipe: oatmeal pancakes

Ingredients:

6 egg whites

1 C cottage cheese

1 C rolled oats, dry

2 tsp sugar

1 tsp cinnamon 

1 tsp vanilla 

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a blender & blend until smooth. Heat a griddle or large skillet over medium-low heat. Pour 1/4 C of batter on to griddle. Flip when they start to turn brown around the edges.

* Photography compliments of my iPhone *

This was one of the best breakfast for dinner foods I have made & enjoyed!

For original recipe, click here.

where is the mud?

But seriously, where is this mud that I keep walking through and keep getting stuck in? I feel as though I take one step forward & not 3, not 4, but 678,938,430,984 steps back.

It always works in mysterious, & annoying ways. It's days when I realize that slowly but surely, things are starting to fall in place & make sense, are also the days that something falls apart & puts me right back at square one. It's a tease. I know what I want, I can see it, yet I keep getting knocked down. It's like someone is watching me & the second they see that I am content, they throw a curveball at me.

This is my journal. My words, thoughts, feelings, there all mine. So when I say that I have cried every day for the past week, I feel embarrassed. Yet at the same time, that's my life. I have such a fire inside of me that is ready to be put towards a job, a person, a place, but I can't seem to find the matches to light it. It's frustrating. Very, very frustrating.

I have applied for jobs like it's my job. Cover letter, resume, references, all sent to multiple employers & each time I get nothing. I feel defeated & discouraged. I yearn so much for that job that I can't wait to get to each morning, that job that challenges my creativity & personality.

In these days of confusion, I can't help but remind myself that this is life. This is my life. If I give up, I won't get anywhere. I can't, & won't, let myself be this person.

I will put on my big girl underwear, keep applying for jobs, keep believing that something great is about to happen, tell myself that there is a reason for all these setbacks, & keep moving forward.  

summer days

I've had the best summer days this week. After eating roughly a months worth of calories during our family reunion (I sure was getting use to having dessert(s) every night), I dived back in to my routine of daily workouts & mostly healthy meals. I find adventure in trying new foods & recipes, so while having a very laid back work schedule this week, I hit up the grocery store. (Side note: going to the grocery store just might be one of my favorite things. Call me crazy, but I find it therapeutic). 

Breakfast: 4 egg whites with kale, red & green peppers, & onions on a toasted multi-grain sandwich thin & a side of fruit

Lunch: 1/2 chicken breast, slice of American cheese, red & green peppers, onions, & kale on a multi-grain sandwich thin (After several months in the box, I used my Pampered Chef Grill Press to toast the sandwich)

& for dinner tonight? I am writing this post while sitting outside at the lake, keeping an eye on the grill. I am swiping my grilling "v-card" as some would say & tackling some more chicken. Wish me luck. 

The last 2 days have been spent hanging outside with friends all day playing yard games, grilling, reminiscing about years past, sipping on a few cold ones, & to cap it all off, enjoying the fireworks show.

 Laughing till I snort just might be another one of my favorite things because it is a sign that I am happy. I am alive. At that moment, all is well in this world. I think I may have exceeded my snorting laugh limit for the year.

 

Can you believe I made it through this whole post & haven't wrote about the grill exploding or saying that I burnt the chicken?

Enjoy your 4th of July weekend!

capture the light

You've waited all year for days like these: long, sweet and bright. 

Don't waste a minute. 

 Step away from the roar of everyday life, and tune in to the rhythm of the waves.

 Let the sun, water and breeze kiss your cheeks and style your hair. 

 Summer days still have as many hours as when you were a kid. 

 Free yourself to remember how to fill them.

[via: Self Magazine . July 2010]