I'm surrounded by people who know what they want. People who apply for jobs that they are qualified for and accept the positions when they are given the opportunity. People who go for it with a clear vision, a strong personality, and a firm belief that their name will go on those business cards.
But then there are other people. People like me who get lost and their vision goes blurry. People who don't know exactly what they want so they sit back and hope that someone will call and tell them what they need to hear. People who are interested in a million little things so every job sounds like "the one".
This morning I accepted a job as a 5th grade paraprofessional. I went into the interview with mixed thoughts. Mixed as in happy and nervous and anxious and hesitant and giddy and about 50 other ones that I'm sure don't even have names. I left the school and knew I was back where I belonged. How? When I realized I had missed the smell of an older building filled with lockers and construction paper and teachers trying to act like they are ready for the year to begin when their room looks like a war zone.
I hung up the phone with my principal and felt an overwhelming sense of contentment. I took a deep breath, ok a really deep breath, and smiled. Why?
Because today I forgot that no matter how bad I want something and don't get it, there's a reason. No matter how many questions I have in my head, they will slowly get answered. And that no matter how lost I may think I am? I'm not. Plus, what ride is memorable without a few bumps?
