I grew up going to church but will be the first to admit that I spent more
time doodling on the Bulletin than reading the words that were printed in it. I
dreaded Lent because that meant I had to go to church twice a week and hello, I
was a teenager with a social life to maintain.
During college, any sort of religious building was nonexistent. The only time I
prayed was before a test I didn’t study enough for and Sunday mornings were
spent Google searching “quickest hangover cures.” But the second something didn’t
go my way, I blamed God for leading me onto unleveled ground and slowly lost
trust in the one person that I was suppose to trust the most.
My faith today is the strongest it has ever been but that’s
not to say I have no doubts or questions about it. I pray, attend church, and
for extra brownie points I read my pastors recently published book before bed
each night. It may be strong but I still have my uncertainties and let's face it, faith can be a scary thing when you indulge yourself fully in it.
I catch myself retreating back to my college ways from time to time, quickly blaming
Him for taking me through a rainstorm without an umbrella and rain boots. I ask
him question after question, and getting a quick answer back is usually not the
case. But then I catch myself reflecting back and seeing that overtime, my
questions are being answered and my trust in Him still remains.
It’s normal to question faith because it’s a confusing
thing. Let’s be honest, some stories in the Bible sound completely Harry Potter
mixed with Chicken Soup for the Soul. We need to trust Him enough with the big
questions because we have enough trust that He will answer them.