Thursday, February 21, 2013

what's next then?

Being settled means being content. It means that the stars have aligned, the dots have been connected, and you have finally married Justin Timberlake and he did in fact bring sexy back. I ask you this: what's next then?

When I first moved to Denver this is how I felt. Sure, it took a couple weeks to get situated, but I found myself getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Friends were made, a job was in place, and overall, I thought that all my puzzle pieces had been matched and the picture they created was perfect. But then life happened. God unsettled my heart and made me realize a few things. It took me a while to appreciate this unsteadiness and to be honest I am still struggling with it.

The past week, my mind has been consumed with the following thoughts: What am I doing here? What is my purpose? Should I move back to MN? How do I know if I'm doing the right thing? Why does it hurt? I know what I want to do so why can't I do it? Why did I call my mom when I had a flat tire knowing entirely that she could do nothing about it being hundreds of miles away?

Yeah, that last question happened. This is the first time in my life I have had to be 100% independent. On my own, learning how to function in the real world without my mom and dad holding my hand every step of the way. I've had to find alternative ways of getting over homesickness. No more curing it by merely driving down the road and playing with my nieces and nephews; Without walking next door to my friends house with a bottle of wine under my arm; Without getting in my car and driving to the lake.

Instead of questioning every small detail, over thinking every move and word and action, I'm moving forward. Actively waiting if you will. So, I ask myself this: what's next then? 

What do you do when your life gets unsettled? Leave a comment 

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