Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Where Do You Belong?

We were gathered around the kitchen counter in a house with Pottery Barn written all over it. Hanging rustic chandeliers, dark wood floors and off white couches with metal lamps nestled next to them. I felt comfortable, sipping my glass of white wine and leaning on the kitchen counter, talking and listening and soaking in the friendship moments that were happening.

It had been a hard day. Between the gloomy weather and the job hunting that was and is continually leaving me frustrated, I felt defeated. I needed to vent and laugh and be reassured that I'm where I need to be and all things will work out.

The longer we talked the more at ease I felt about things. I knew I was being irrational when I said I wanted to pack up and go home because it's a phase, one that I get stuck in every once in a while. Don't we all, though? We collapse when things aren't how we want them, instantly looking for the quickest way out even if it leaves us feeling regretful and unhappy.

I left that night feeling blessed for friendships and an even deeper love for white wine. It was nearly midnight but my mind was running and I had blogs that needed to be read. I ended up on Facebook, surprise surprise, and caught myself reading wall posts from years past. Then something happened that left me with goosebumps, a feeling of complete reassurance and a sign that I'm exactly where I belong.

So maybe it is just a silly little Facebook quiz and maybe it means nothing, but I'm just going to ignore all that. Times may be unsettling and family may be extremely missed, but I'm going to ride out this wave with a smile on my face and great anticipation for all things ahead. 

The past week has taught me to look for teachable moments in unlikeable moments. Each day can't be borderline perfect but my attitude and outlook can make it close to that. I have learned to surround myself with others that will pick me up, breaking my moody streak and knowing exactly how much whip cream to put on my strawberries.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sunday Run-day

The plan was to do a workout at Red Rocks with friends this morning but when I awoke to rain and a text saying we were no longer going, I turned off my alarm and enjoyed a slow and steady morning. Still sleepy and half out of it, I somehow managed to make a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of coffee, all while trying to not wake the rest of the house. Takes talent, people.

I signed up for my 4th Half Marathon about a month ago and realized that I should probably start training for it. I've taken a bit of a hiatus from running and have been focusing more on lifting and mainly just giving my left knee a break.

With the temp around 70 degrees and a cloudy sky above, I decided to hit the park for a run. I was curious to see how far I could go and better yet, how far my knee would allow me to go. I'm 24 and have knee problems so that's really fun and gives me hope of surgery free years ahead.....sigh.....

Finished at 8 miles to round out my Sunday Run-day. Miles 1-3 felt like they were taking forever, miles 3-6 went by in a snap, and miles 6-8 I merely wanted to stop 1209381092 times. The joys of running and your mind playing tricks on you! 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Windex, Anyone?

When my camera is in hand, my eyes search for the dirtier things in life like tree trunks and overgrown grass, fences with chipped paint and bicycles whose pedals have been vacant for years.  I crouch down, capturing the way the vines twist and turn and how a single yellow flower amongst a bed of weeds is somehow strikingly rare and beautiful.

But then my camera is set back in it's case and my eyes are focused on the dirtier things in my life.  The questions, worries, uncertainties, fears, all of it begins and the search for the end is no where in my line of vision.  I realize that as much as these things are messy, it is only I who can clean them up.  No outside lens can capture the things I want and hope for myself.  Only me.  So I wake up each morning, determined to make the day great, and I go to bed each night, praying for trust and some Windex to help make my journey a little more clear. 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Ordinary Moments

You don't have to spend your days searching for extraordinary things in ordinary moments. 

It's the simple notion of opening your eyes to the colors and simplicity of where you are. 

How the sand compliments the water...

...and the water reflects the sunset. 

It's spending all day in the sun with your best friends, finding extreme pleasure in jumping off the boat and belting out tunes and throwing your hands in the air because life is good

The way your family gets closer when you sit around a campfire and how you wish talking to your mom on the beach would never end because, let's face it, mom's really do know best. 

It's being back in a place where being yourself is enough.  It's letting go of the stress of reality and giving in to the extraordinary things in ordinary moments.