knowing when

1. Knowing when to start doing things the way YOU want to do them.

"Carrie, you are a people pleaser. You do things that won't necessarily make you happy, but will make the people around you happy. I'm here to tell you that you simply cannot keep going through life this way". My aunt is a pretty great lady, wouldn't you agree? I always need reminding (not that she is a great lady, but that I need to focus on my happiness) of this because I know that I continually fall in to the trap of making sure the people in my life are "ok". I know this isn't a bad thing, but when it gets in the way of what I truly want to do, than I think it is a problem. We need to fall down & pick ourselves up. We need to know what it feels like to hurt & to come out of something with a whole new outlook. We need to try new things & learn from them. We need to make mistakes & take something away from it that changes our views. We need to meet people that are complete opposites of us & teach us that embracing different people is one of the best lessons we can learn.

2. Knowing when you are getting slapped in the face with reality.

I royally suck when it comes to eating healthy while on a trip. This weekend was no different while in Missouri for my brothers wedding. I told myself that I'll get back on schedule on Monday. It's Monday, & I am here to tell you that I had the biggest rude awakening I have ever had. I literally cuddled up on the couch from the time I woke up till lunch time. It was one of those mornings where I COULD NOT STOP EATING. From toast, to cookies, to chips, to practically everything in my kitchen. It was bad. So bad that I got the worst upset stomach & ended up with my head in the porcelain bowl. This might be at the top of my list for "most embarrassing things that I have ever wrote about on my blog" but it's me. It's real. It happened. & it was exactly what I needed to flip that switch in my head & get back on schedule. That is until I felt like a 500 lb woman that had no self-control & to be honest, I was in complete awe of what I had just done. So naturally, I crawl in bed & dose off for an hour. I woke up to a message from a girl that somehow, I have NO idea how, knew that I needed to read the following words:

Hey Girl, 
Something urged me to stop and write you a quick note. Looks like you're adjusting well to your new life; I think I'm secretly jealous of you - in the best way possible. Keep doing what you're doing and the blessings will continue to come. Have a good week pretty lady!

No lie, I jumped out of bed, put on my running clothes, & left for the best run I've had in a long time. I needed that slap of reality that said "stop being lazy, get up, get out, do SOMETHING". Thank you, Carli, for thinking of me, not knowing what I was going through or that your thoughtfulness would motivate me to stop being a complete & utter bum. Book your ticket yet? : )

3. Knowing when to take the focus off yourself & putting it on the relationships in your life.

We often get so caught up in our lives day to day struggles, that we forget we need to be the ears that our friends need to vent to. We need to be the advice givers & the shoulders to cry on. Since moving away, my friendships have become so much stronger & I do not take any of my girlfriends for granted. I don't know where I would be if I couldn't just pick up my phone & talk to them about anything. On the flip side, I try to make a point during every phone call or text that I am always here if they need to talk. I have become so aware of what it means to have those friendships that are continually shaping & evolving that I know none of us have our lives figured out, but it lifts the stress a little bit when we know we can all lean on each other & go through the "not knowing" path hand in hand.

4. Knowing when you are in the right place.

I woke up Sunday morning & was not looking forward to flying home. I didn't want to go back to the same old, same old. But then I remembered that my home was no longer Moorhead & that I got to hop on a plane to Denver. I immediately regained my happiness & felt like I was going on another vacation. I can't say it enough that I am 100% sure I am in the city that I am meant to be in. Maybe not for the rest of my life, but for right now. While running at the park this afternoon, I took in all the sights, sounds, people, & dogs. Dogs are everywhere around here & my neighbor doesn't know it yet but when he introduced me to his lab last night, he was giving me an invitation to steal Gracie whenever I please. I'm not saying you need to relocate to regain your sense of home, but you do need to alter something in your life if you are not satisfied. Take it from me, you will know when you are in the right place when you no longer wish you were somewhere else. Take a trip, try something new, pick up a new hobby, read a new book. Something, somewhere, somehow, will spark a feeling in you that will let you know your feet are on the right grounds.

Where my feet hit the pavement. & to think that people believe the "big bang" created all this?!

5. Knowing when to keep blogging.

I had at least 5 people come up to me this weekend to tell me they read my blog. I can't tell you how good it feels when the people that you least expect to read your writing, tell you they love it & love your positivity. On one hand I write for me because I enjoy it, but on the other hand I feel like the thoughts & views in my head could help someone. Maybe it is only one person, but if my writing can help them, than heck, I deserve a cookie. Oh, wait, I already ate them all when I was on a psycho rampage of my kitchen. Sigh...