Like Clockwork

Before I dive in to this piece, let me just show you where I am writing from today. If the lake were a person, you bet I would send it flowers for always being my safe place to land. 

I use to love when mid-August rolled around and my mom would take me back to school shopping. Whether it was at Target for college-ruled notebooks of assorted colors or Macy’s for the latest fashion trends, the feeling of a new beginning and start of a new year was enticing. I use to make up how the first day of school would play out, who my group of friends were and what team I would make for soccer. Even the days where I was reminded that the yellow bus was taking me to math class, the excitement of beginning a new chapter overlooked it all.

By the end of September, all those feelings had packed up and headed out. Routine kicked in, homework started getting in the way of TRL and my time on AIM. I couldn’t wait for Christmas break, and then Spring break, and then the last day of school because that meant it was back to weekends at the lake with a balanced diet of smores and Coca-Cola. 

Like clockwork, mid-August rolled around and those confetti-sprinkled feelings were back. I was happy and excited and anxious and ready for the new beginning to start…again. But did it ever really end?

***

The past couple months have felt like a wave for me. One day I would be riding it smoothly and the next I was being pulled under and swooshed around. I was in a funk; confused and feeling stuck with the parts of my life that I wanted to keep progressing towards something even I didn’t know. 

The uncertainty of the future is what kills me. I fall for it every time. 

In those times of feeling lonely I was reassured that I’m not alone. My friends called, texted, filled up my wine glass and brought me on the dance floor. In those conversations where borders were broken down and the rawness of my emotions were exposed, it was as I was hit over the head and reminded of things – friendships are vital when rescuing yourself back to you and new beginnings are always around the corner. 

I moved into a new home with a new roommate and it’s as if my attitude took a complete 180. I love Denver again and feel as though I just moved here - I want to explore, explore, explore. I love the new walls that surround me and the roommate that is like a breath of fresh air. I love being able to walk to my favorite park instead of drive and I love that we are minutes from downtown.

Like clockwork, my faith as been restored and I have a passion for something even I am unsure of yet ok with because I trust He does. It’s a pretty neat thing when you look in your rearview mirror and see the bumps you have hit and how you are still driving forward; maybe a little bruised and maybe a little hurt, but the wheels keep turning and bringing you to where you need to be.

 P.S. - What does your new beginning look like?