Throwing Up My White Flag

I decided to make an appointment with a Dietician for a couple reasons, with some I wish not to discuss on here. One of the main reasons being that I was noticing the days following a longer run I felt "blah". I had zero energy, felt faint and lightheaded, and overall just not with it. I eat healthy 95% of the time but when my stomach was growling 24/7, carrots weren't at the top of my list to grab - junk food was and usually at a time in the day were I should be sleeping.

I was getting tired of feeling tired, eating food that wasn't giving me any nutritional value, and I was no longer looking forward to my longer runs because I knew I was going to feel like I was living in slow motion soon after. So, those reasons led me to the Clinical Nutrition Center.

My first visit I felt completely out of my element and a little guilty. Here I was, sitting in a lobby surrounded by overweight women discussing which Protein Bars and Meal Replacements were their favorite. I checked in, stepped on the scale, and was given a packet to read while I waited for the RD. As I started reading, I felt even more out of place.

"It is no more your fault that you have obesity than any other medical condition."

"The primary causes of obesity are genetics and environment."

"It is these behaviors that will be responsible for you feeling empowered to keep this weight off once and for all!"

The RD called my name and we walked back to her office. First thing she said was, "You clearly don't look like my usual clients so what brings you in today?". Where do I start? I thought to myself. I told her what I told you and then some. She asked me follow up questions and I answered as best I could. She dug into my brain and picked at my words and thoughts. 

It came down to her wanting to see what I was putting in my body and when, so that she could see if their were any "holes" in my nutrition. She added that I needed to stop obsessing so much about eating this food vs. that and to stop reading books and articles and you name it about food as well. Her goal was to essentially re-wire my brain to think differently about food and to erase everything that I've read and learned up until this point. 

"I want you to keep a food journal and see me next week. From there we can put a plan in place as to what food groups you should be eating and at what time of the day."

For the next week I carried my pink journal around like it was my new best friend. I was diligent in what I wrote down; adding in the measurement of the food, how I felt after I ate, the time in which I worked out, etc. 

When I returned for my follow-up consultation, I was a hot mess to say the least.

"You are eating no protein at breakfast."

"Where is your sodium intake?"

"Stop drinking Muscle Milk immediately. There are traces of lead and arsenic in it."

"Do you eat any starch?"

I felt like I was back in elementary school sitting at conferences in where the teacher was telling me all the assignments I didn't do and how the ones I did do were incorrect. I wanted to be defensive, "I have some eggs at breakfast every now and then. Look! I had tortilla chips that had salt on them that one night. Bread makes me bloated and my stomach gets upset so that's my reasoning for the lack of starches in my diet.", but I knew that would defeat the purpose of being there, so I removed my crown and surrendered to the fact that I had to admit I was doing it all wrong. 

We discussed other issues that I was having and ended the session with her writing me an individualized food plan. Here she wrote down how many servings of protein, vegetables, fruit, dairy, and starches I should be having every day and at what time of the day I should be consuming them. 

My mindset has definitely had to make a complete 180* but I know I need to be smarter about how I'm fueling and refueling my body. I'm hesitant with just how much food she is wanting me to eat, but again, I need to re-wire my brain to think differently than it has been for the past year or so. Remember THIS post? Yeah, that monster still likes to hide under my bed. 

I am eager to really start following my training plan as the last couple weeks I've had to make adjustments due to injuries, social events, etc. It's crazy to think I only have about a month left until my marathon but let's just say I'm ready to have a life outside of tying up my Brooks, having my alarm set for 5am four mornings out of the week, and trying to map out new routes to keep things somewhat exciting. 

Week 13 Workouts

Monday - 3.5 miles

Tuesday - rest

Wednesday - elliptical & lift

Thursday - rest

Friday - 20 mile run 

Saturday - rest

Sunday - 4.5 mile run, Jillian Michael's Ab video